Listen up, asshole...

[mapsedge]

I know you designed your dealership's old website. It isn't my fault that your boss decided we could do it better, but here's something you should probably know:

1. We have a half dozen other clients who use the same ISP you do. They have no problems.
   
2. We log every web request that comes to the server. Yours are served as fast as every other.
   
3. We log every database hit. It takes an average of .6 seconds to "build" your content...actually, that's a little faster than some of the others.
   
4. You are the only client we have who uses a firewall appliance.
   

So, one of two things is true. Option A: you don't know what you're doing and shouldn't be allowed in the dealership's network room, or Option B: you deliberately set up your dealership's firewall to prejudicially filter the new website and make it look unreasonably slow.

If it's Option B, well, such behavior is pretty easy to diagnose, and it won't take long until the finger points...at you. If it's Option A, we're all screwed.

And why the hell would a car dealership NEED a firewall appliance, anyway? If your salesmen have time enough to surf porn sites, then you won't be in business very much longer to begin with. The more important stuff like sales and service data are handled on your DMS's subnet, and that network isn't your problem.

I'm all for bringing on new customers. But you are a pain in the ass.

Comments

[jehosefatz.livejournal.com]

I have a big stick. It's the butt end of a 22-oz pool cue sawed off to 18" with the butt drilled out and a 24oz lead weight inserted and then plugged. I used it to make my displeasure known at the pool hall when I worked there.

It was very effective.

You're welcome to borrow it.

- Jeho

[ladyniniane.livejournal.com]

I take it this is the client with 'issues' that you have mentioned in previous posts? So the problem is a 'very special' firewall - a hardware-based one, from your description.

Let me guess - the a-hole is the one who 'recommended' that they buy it originally, because "there's no way to prevent those sales guys from circumventing it unless it is physically inaccessible to them, so a hardware solution is the only way to go..."

And, I'd lay odds on the a-hole having just the right connections to purchase this particular model for a 'great price'.

Oh, and let me guess - the a-hole is the only one who knows how to set up and configure it - as well as all of the network setups, passwords, etc.

You don't suppose the boss is getting just a tad bit suspicious about this entire setup, do you?

Nah....

-------
Yes, I've worked on computers, as a mainframe systems programmer. In charge of operating system installs and maintenance. Oh, yes, and I've done mainframe security using RACF and ACF2.

Me, suspicious of ulterior motives here? Now why-ever would you think something like that??

grok oh too well...

[iarraidh.livejournal.com]

It's always hard to deal with the aftermath of schemers, finaglers and bullshit artists, especially when they are INEPT at their bullshit.

They spend so much time and energy trying to impress people with how clever they are that they usually miss completely the simple, proper solution and muddy up the pond for anyone who has to clean up after them.

Todd Mochamer
Dennis Howell
Don Latson
Eric Schmidt
Dave Willis
BJ Custard
Don Ingram
Victor Mitchell
Johnnie Weathersby...

Just a few I've endured in just the last few years at work.

Then you get into REAL pieces of work -
Geoffrey Mattewson
Jeff Campbell
Donna Chambers
Charles AKA Baer AKA 'Chuckles' Kenney
Vanessa AKA 'Pookey' AKA 'punching bag' Kenney
Mike AKA Liam Riggs...
the list seems to have no end.

Little bits of bad pork and cheese burrito, clogging up the bowels of the Universe, cramping and hurting everything they touch until with a painful grunt it poops them out.

Just my opinion, of course.
Your mileage may vary.