The conversation went like this, more or less...

[mapsedge]

Him. Hi, I'm the new graphics guy for the website.

Me. Terrific. What's your skill level with HTML and CSS?

Him. I'm very familiar with them.

Me. Great. Okay, click on "Edit"

Him. Are those tables?

Me. Yes. You don't edit the whole page, only pieces of it. The system is designed to make it easy to ---

Him. Your DOCTYPE declaration is incorrect.

Me. Is it?

Him. Yeah, I can't do positioning when it's like that.

Me. Well, you don't have to. See, the system is designed to make it easy to ---

Him. You have it as HTML 4.0 Transitional. I like XHTML for my pages.

Me. But you won't be writing pages, you'll be creating targeted content and plugging it in. The system is designed to make it easy to ---

Him. I don't like tables.

Me. ...

Him. I like DIVs, and CSS positioning.

Me. Sure. The system was written to make it easy for non-tech-savvy users to trade out content on websites that are used to sell cars. That's it. For that, we use tables for layout. That's what there is.

Him. I don't like tables.

Me. ...

Him. Can I write my own template?

Me. Sure. You can host it on your own server, too.

Him. ...

Me. ...

Him. I can see you and I are going to be working very closely together on this.

Me. I can't wait.

Him. Can I have your contact information?

Me. No.

Okay. I didn't actually say "No." Wanted to, though. Prissy little asshole. Dude, here's a hammer. You drive nails with it. If you want to design the house, open your own architectural firm on your own time.

Comments

[iarraidh.livejournal.com]

I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing Near you...

I always know it'll be a good one when I see the "White Star" icon.

It's similar to the I.S. Director we had, who spouted his 20 years of experience running I.T. Departments, who I had to show how to copy'n'paste between windows on his PC.

Sometimes you can't believe how far BULLSHIT gets some people

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

Oh dear.

He needs to meet up with the people here who can't insert a row in an Excel sheet, or who look at you like you're a witch when you Alt+Tab between screens. *sigh*

I dare you to start tossing balls of paper at him whenever he walks past your door. (you DO have a door now, right?)

[billthetailor.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, the guy's a long way from here...Michigan, I think. One of those MMMmmm states, though no Missouri. What I REALLY need is caller-ID.

[ladyniniane.livejournal.com]

"What I REALLY need is caller-ID."
Or someone close by that you can flag down once you pick up the receiver, who will run into your office shouting, "Bill! BILL! It's smoking again; where's the (sacrificial) chicken?"

[starseeking.livejournal.com]

*whimper* Moronified whiny git! Sacrifice him to the gods to get someone better! Wait, they might consider it unfit. Hmm. How about we just pull his brain out and use it as a yo-yo?