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mapsedgeLady behind the counter. Good morning.
Me. smiling Good morning!
LBTC. What can I get started for you?
Me. reaching for my wallet I'd like a grandé, wet, one Sweet & Low™, cappuchino.
(For the uninitiated, that's barista-speak, and comes in the order it's written on the cup: size, variation, sweetener, drink.)
LBTC. Wow, you've got it down.
Me. Yeah.
LBTC. So that's a grandé, wet, one Splenda™ ---
Me. smile instantly vaporized No, not Splenda. Sweet & Low. There's a difference.
(For the record, Sweet & Low is a more efficient sweetener than Splenda, which has the same sweetening power of table sugar.)
LBTC. Oh, right, right. grandé, wet, one Sweet & Low, cappuchino.
Me. Right.
LBTC. And what name on the cup?
Me. "Bill."
LBTC. writing "Mister Bill."
Me. actively frowning now NO. Not Mister Bill. Just "Bill."
LBTC. Oh, right. You remember "Saturday Night L---?"
Me. Yes, I remember. Just "Bill."
Strangely, we go through this every goddamn time. With a name like "William Morris", and being forty years old, I've heard every variation there is. EVERY one. "William Morris Agency", "Oh, I just love your tapestries", "Oh, like the tobacco company", "Mr. Bill"...ad nauseum.
A word of advice to all you folks out there. Any human being with a recognizable name past the age of, say, twelve, has heard every clever variation. After age thirty or so, it's not cute or entertaining anymore: it's old, and makes us want to strangle you.
Me. smiling Good morning!
LBTC. What can I get started for you?
Me. reaching for my wallet I'd like a grandé, wet, one Sweet & Low™, cappuchino.
(For the uninitiated, that's barista-speak, and comes in the order it's written on the cup: size, variation, sweetener, drink.)
LBTC. Wow, you've got it down.
Me. Yeah.
LBTC. So that's a grandé, wet, one Splenda™ ---
Me. smile instantly vaporized No, not Splenda. Sweet & Low. There's a difference.
(For the record, Sweet & Low is a more efficient sweetener than Splenda, which has the same sweetening power of table sugar.)
LBTC. Oh, right, right. grandé, wet, one Sweet & Low, cappuchino.
Me. Right.
LBTC. And what name on the cup?
Me. "Bill."
LBTC. writing "Mister Bill."
Me. actively frowning now NO. Not Mister Bill. Just "Bill."
LBTC. Oh, right. You remember "Saturday Night L---?"
Me. Yes, I remember. Just "Bill."
Strangely, we go through this every goddamn time. With a name like "William Morris", and being forty years old, I've heard every variation there is. EVERY one. "William Morris Agency", "Oh, I just love your tapestries", "Oh, like the tobacco company", "Mr. Bill"...ad nauseum.
A word of advice to all you folks out there. Any human being with a recognizable name past the age of, say, twelve, has heard every clever variation. After age thirty or so, it's not cute or entertaining anymore: it's old, and makes us want to strangle you.
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 14:47 (UTC)I did make my own this morning. A nice French Roast, whole milk, one S&L. And I didn't call myself any cute names.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 17:48 (UTC)I'm not a fan of Starbucks, not so much because of their corporate practices (which occasionally wrankle), but because IMO their coffee sucks. Either that or their baristas suck. Or both. It probably varies by date/time/location.
Until recently, the only thing they had going for them was that there was a 24-hour one attached to a Barnes and Noble out here. But I recently found a couple 24-hour coffee places that aren't that much further, server better coffee, and aren't Starbucks.
Huzzah for rolling your own. I'll email you some cute names if you want. Make your DYI experience everything it can be.
- Jeho