Thoughts deep enough to give them their own topic...

[mapsedge]

iarraidh commented, in reference to attending the baseball game:

People who don't have anxiety disorders have no clue what it's like when we're thrust into the chaos of, well, People.

Everything is turned up to 11, and all those people stabbing at me trying to force me to interact with them on so many levels from so many directions.

Introverts typically have to constantly EXPEND energy to be around people, particularly large numbers of people they aren't already familiar with. The constant barrage of the demands of the extroverts drains the hell out of me.

The argument I usually get back is, "Well, you used to do renaissance festivals."

The simple reply to that is, "Operative words: used to."

But there are other dynamics at work there. At a festival, I am in costume. The vast majority of patrons ignore costumed performers because they want to be left alone to enjoy the show, rendering me effectively invisible. Until I choose to interact, I am extremely well-dressed scenery. Important point: I choose to interact; no one pushes interaction on me.

I am there with a purpose, which provides a mental shield. It's my environment, my space, my community.

Festivals also don't happen at 100dB¹.

I am relaxed today, more like my normal, grumpy asshole self. I am painfully sunburned - my nose, as usual, is blistering a little, and combing my hair hurts  - but the sun-migraine is gone and I can think and function. Breakfast is warming in the oven, cappuchino is made, I'm ready to start my day.


¹ 15dB higher than the minimum safe level to prevent hearing loss, according to OSHA

Comments

it's funny...

[themadblonde]

most people assume I am an extrovert because I am a performer &, under many circumstances, am not particularly shy about calling attention to myself. However, I'm beginning to suspect that I'm actually a socialised introvert. I can be VERY exhausted by large crowds of people, &/or interactions that are not ones I choose (put me up on stage, good; have people swamping me on a lane trying to figure out how my hoop skirt is put together, bad), BUT I can also be very energised by small, focussed gatherings of people. I'm more likely to take charge of a situation because I'm too impatient to wait for someone else to do it, rather than really WANTING to be in charge. & sometimes I can be painfully shy, particularly in parties where I don't know anyone. Give me something to do & I'm happy, but just sitting around @ someone's wedding reception- MISERY.