A-caroling we go

[mapsedge]

As mljm mentioned in her journal, there was caroling, and we all did go. With one exception, it was fun. We visited a couple of people who were shut-ins, one assisted living facility, and last, a nursing home.

God, what a nightmare that was. In form, function, and decoration nearly identical to the facility where my mom died, right down the to the oak cage of finches in the common room, the Western-themed paintings on the wall and the fucking wallpaper border for Chrissakes. Yeah, THAT was a load of memories and guilt I didn't need.

On the brighter side, we did touch quite a few lives tonight, scoring a dozen smiling faces in the dining room of the assisted living place. I remembered all the harmony for "White Christmas", and acquitted myself well.

A lesson learned: never let a bass start the songs.

Comments

[bonnyann.livejournal.com]

In OMaha, the NEbraska Medical Center and CLarkson Hosp are across the street from each other. Since I worked at NMC and Mom was in Clarkson frequently, it was convenient. I'd go over for lunch if she was inpatient and if she was coming in by ambulance, my face would be the first one she saw as she came in the emerg room. It took many hospital stays before she voluntarily went off dialysis. NHS and Clarkson were merging at the time and our dept got hired as contractors. And for months after my mom died, I had to get in Clarkson's damn elevator and listen to the voice "Welcome to Clarkson Hospital....First floor. What floor please?...." over and over and over and over and........ I came close at times to going postal and shooting that damn loudspeaker so it would shut up and I wouldn't have to relive my mom's multiple hospital stays and death.

My sister and I split her clothes and I got a coat of her ready to put on for the first time and as I opened it, these aromas came out and overwhelmed me. Her perfume, her unused ratty Kleenex in the pocket. Lost it on that one. But you get through it. Somehow, you get through it. Hang in there Bill.

[billthetailor.livejournal.com]

Thank you, J. I do well for the most part, but walking into that place was walking into last February, and I wasn't steeled for it. I'm good today. All the changes to the house - which my mother owned and was a source of constant tension until she was forced to sign it over or face having it taken by Medicaid - are rapidly closing mental doors and putting many ghosts to rest. Instead of just tossing out those pieces of my family that were negative, I'm replacing them with better choices, and that helps.