Closure can suck sometimes.

[mapsedge]

The van sold, finally. It went for far less than what we paid, and less than half of what we needed to turn that around for a new furnace and air conditioner, but the money was just enough to cover certain tax bills that are coming up which is a blessing in itself.

We got less than what we paid, but we choose to look at it this way: since the van was part of the deal that got us the house free and clear, we got a house for about five thousand dollars.

What surprises me, and is the subject of my post now, is my reaction.

I'm glad the van is gone: I no longer have to pay insurance or taxes on it, and it's no longer taking up space for vehicles that I drive every day.

It went to an old man with an old wife who is losing the use of her legs, whose bones are so brittle the smallest impact can break them and who is confined to a wheelchair. It went where it needed to go.

The van was also the last large, tangible piece of my mother. My last memories of her alive - really alive - involve driving her to lunch in that van.

It was a last bit of closure, hiding in the bushes as it were, and I wasn't prepared for it. I cried a bit (there's been a lot of that lately), then got past that, but the emotions linger, like they do.

Comments

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Hugs, my dear. Not much else to say but that we love you guys.

[starwyse.livejournal.com]

I hear you.

*hug*
*hands you a cup of coffee*

I'm willing to listen if there's more.

Hugs

[wyckedgood.livejournal.com]

The van was also the last large, tangible piece of my mother. My last memories of her alive - really alive - involve driving her to lunch in that van.

I empathize deeply honey.
Hugs

[aerie13.livejournal.com]

I'll come over and talk about chappy nads and make you laugh any time!

[billthetailor.livejournal.com]

My grin muscles are still sore from last night!

[starseeking.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

I'm not surprised

[iarraidh.livejournal.com]

You're a decent and caring human being, old friend.

I catch myself, too.
I see something humorous or way-offbeat and think, "I need to call Mom and tell her about this...Wait...I forgot...she died"...and I fall apart a little.

Those we care about aren't around us; they live in us; they are us.

These unexpected moments are life's little way of getting around our cold, hard stiff-upper-lip tough exterior and touching our hearts once again, where those we love live forever.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

*big Bob hugs*

I'm glad that the van finally has a good home.

It's funny, isn't it, the things that can catch us off guard and send us reeling?

You know I love you and yours more than I can say. If there is anything I can do...