Excuse me...

[mapsedge]

Excuse me, Mr. Tights Customer.  I'm pretty sure your intention is far different from the end result.  You work to appear to be trying hard, though I know better: your comment to me on the phone, "You'll have to excuse me, I'm only eighteen" gave that away.  Your problem isn't that you're eighteen.  Your problem is that you're sloppy and careless.  In my less charitable moments, I would have said "stupid."  I'm trying to be good, though.

On my website it tells you how to measure your inseam.  Big bold letters.  Right there up front where you can't miss it.  I know that you didn't read any of that, because you told me you got my emails but never read them, which is why you didn't know your tights had been waiting for you for three goddamn weeks.

So, I think you ordered your tights the way you buy your jeans: you like to hem your jeans by walking on the ends, so you buy them long.  I see that all the time at the mall, and your dress when you arrived unannounced at my home matched what I see there.  I'm pretty observant that way.

You ordered tights suitable for a guy six feet tall.  You, in contrast, are five-foot-seven.  Gosh, there's a difference?

It's just that - not that it's any of my business, which in this case, it is quite literally - it's just that your sloppy measuring makes you look like a blueberry-flavored, though dejectedly underfilled, condom.

Comments

[archway.livejournal.com]

~Snork!!~

[iarraidh.livejournal.com]

...and the problem being, that when he wears the ill-fitting garb, someone will ask where he got the tights, and your name gets sullied.
The integral part (that he ordered the wrong size) won't enter into the conversation.
But the other person will be left with the impression that Seamlyne stuff doesn't fit.
What rot.

[billthetailor.livejournal.com]

Precisely my thought. I was a little rushed at the time - two other people waiting there in my living room - and had I my wits about me, I wouldn't have let him out the door with them.

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

Well, in response to iarraidh's comment, perhaps he'll fall into the 18-yr old crowd that stuffs their tights, heh. ;p I feel for you, Bill...I really do.

[thefox-rb.livejournal.com]

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL....

This made me laugh.

Sorry it brought you such headache, though. :0)

R.