An odd Halloween
Nov. 2nd, 2009 09:19![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mapsedgeWe totally missed Halloween this year. Between Katie's dietary restrictions and Jami still running a fever off and on, we did nothing toward the celebration of the day. We decorated the house for the season, but that's about it.
We're still coming to grips with how to deal with Katie's dietary restrictions and event/holidays that are in large measure about food. In the past, when we had to money to do so, we'd buy Katie appropriate candy, wrap it up in little bundles and distribute to our neighbors the day before so she could trick-or-treat like the other kids. To my mind, as an option it lacks the thrill of discovery I remember from my childhood. Giving tootsie-roll pops earned you a polite "thank you." Giving out plastic toys marked your house as a place to be avoided as effectively as crime scene tape. Chocolate was worth at least one costume change and second trip around.
Not so for Katie. We're trying to think of ways to de-emphasize food and candy. It's exceptionally tough - birthday parties, Sunday School activities, church functions, neighborhood gatherings all involve food. Foods that you take for granted are dietary landmines: Doritos, Oreos, Cheez-Its, CocaCola and all its variations, M&Ms - and we're not just talking about the idea of "junk food." Each has at least one chemical in it that goes off in Katie's mind and emotional makeup like a bomb: imagine watching every channel on the TV at once, at high volume. Every love scene, every murder, every touchdown and fumble, every news story, every cooking show, all of it rushing in front of your eyes and ears, and you can't shut it off.
Katie's gotten very good about politely declining offers of food and drink when she isn't sure of the ingredients. It breaks my heart that she has to.
In all of this, I feel sorry for Jami, even moreso than Kate. Because of some angst-driven need to be "fair" , whatever that means, we have all fitted ourselves into her dietary mold, which means no trick-or-treating for him, either. Until he is old enough to go places on his own without us - or until we get over this equality ideal (an ideal that I find unnecessary, and have said so) - he's screwed for a "normal" childhood as well.
Next year, with a little planning and effort, we're talking about having a "spook walk" around the house - little vignettes out doors that the kids can walk through and past. I've done such things in the past - the distant past - and I still remember how to build a scarecrow, mad scientist lab, and "bloody bride." We've got a perfect path around the house: the space between our house and our neighbor to the North would be the perfect entrance.
In the meantime, there's the coming holiday season to consider. Santa's elves love to hand out candy canes, the little assholes.
We're still coming to grips with how to deal with Katie's dietary restrictions and event/holidays that are in large measure about food. In the past, when we had to money to do so, we'd buy Katie appropriate candy, wrap it up in little bundles and distribute to our neighbors the day before so she could trick-or-treat like the other kids. To my mind, as an option it lacks the thrill of discovery I remember from my childhood. Giving tootsie-roll pops earned you a polite "thank you." Giving out plastic toys marked your house as a place to be avoided as effectively as crime scene tape. Chocolate was worth at least one costume change and second trip around.
Not so for Katie. We're trying to think of ways to de-emphasize food and candy. It's exceptionally tough - birthday parties, Sunday School activities, church functions, neighborhood gatherings all involve food. Foods that you take for granted are dietary landmines: Doritos, Oreos, Cheez-Its, CocaCola and all its variations, M&Ms - and we're not just talking about the idea of "junk food." Each has at least one chemical in it that goes off in Katie's mind and emotional makeup like a bomb: imagine watching every channel on the TV at once, at high volume. Every love scene, every murder, every touchdown and fumble, every news story, every cooking show, all of it rushing in front of your eyes and ears, and you can't shut it off.
Katie's gotten very good about politely declining offers of food and drink when she isn't sure of the ingredients. It breaks my heart that she has to.
In all of this, I feel sorry for Jami, even moreso than Kate. Because of some angst-driven need to be "fair" , whatever that means, we have all fitted ourselves into her dietary mold, which means no trick-or-treating for him, either. Until he is old enough to go places on his own without us - or until we get over this equality ideal (an ideal that I find unnecessary, and have said so) - he's screwed for a "normal" childhood as well.
Next year, with a little planning and effort, we're talking about having a "spook walk" around the house - little vignettes out doors that the kids can walk through and past. I've done such things in the past - the distant past - and I still remember how to build a scarecrow, mad scientist lab, and "bloody bride." We've got a perfect path around the house: the space between our house and our neighbor to the North would be the perfect entrance.
In the meantime, there's the coming holiday season to consider. Santa's elves love to hand out candy canes, the little assholes.
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 16:51 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 17:15 (UTC)It's remarkably simple in scope: the ingredients list must be all natural. Not necessarily "organic", just natural. No nitrates, preservatives, artificial colors, or artificial flavors, and it can be really surprising where those things turn up! Some things are obvious: those cupcakes from the Hy-Vee bakery aren't safe because of the food coloring. Some breakfast cereals look safe until you realize that the packaging contains a preservative. Miracle Whip has blue food coloring. 7Up is safe, Sprite is not. Goldfish are safe, Cheez-Its are not. Anything from Whole Foods is safe, most everything from Price Chopper is not.
The general rule of thumb is, "Read the ingredients. If it wasn't walking, swimming, flying, or growing in the sun a week ago, it's probably not safe. If you can't pronounce it, it's probably not safe."
Many of our friends who've had us over - or who have been over - for dinner are familiar with the issues, though it doesn't necessarily come - forgive me - naturally. It took us a year to get through the transition to where we don't have to really think about it any more.
sometimes a snack sounds mighty tasty, and it's just hateful to say "time for cake for everyone but you, little missy!".
Indeed. When we're faced with a situation where it can't be avoided and hasn't been planned for, we'll try to bring safe treats, for just this reason.
It is my hope that as Katie gets older she'll be able to cope with the changes in her mind better, and thus avoiding danger-foods will be less of a concern.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 17:32 (UTC)Frankly, it sounds like following those guidelines can go a good way toward planning healthier meals and making wiser food choices...maybe we should start having you folks over with some frequency, for the entirely selfish reasons of getting to hang out with you awesome people and being encouraged to prepare healthier meals in the process! :)
no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 17:34 (UTC)AND Bill...we'll be seeing you at the StoneBridge Cafe on Saturday night!
no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 19:20 (UTC)FYI, natural does not be fat or calorie free. We use real butter, etc meaning you really have to watch your portion control and exercise unless you give up carbs and desserts. So just because you're eating naturally doesn't mean you'll be 120 lbs in a couple of months.
A good thing about the diet is that the things Katie can't have are things we really shouldn't be putting in our bodies anyway. Even if it's part of the social and cultural norm. But that doesn't stop me craving M&Ms and donuts. I seriously believe though that over time we're going to see what our change in diet from natural (like my grandparents ate) to full of junk (like we ate) does to the body besides obesity. Just because I ate 35 years of junk food hopefully doesn't mean that my chances at finishing out this life in a more healthy manner is shot. I man never be thin, but hopefully I can be healthy.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 20:24 (UTC)(And on a side note, I'd argue that it's never too late to commit to a healthier lifestyle. It may be too late to completely undo the damage caused by some earlier choices, but it's all about perspective--I'll never be skinny, but I can certainly be skinnier-than-this, etc. And isn't it funny how sometimes we need a kick in the teeth from the cosmos before we'll start making those necessary changes--like having some big scary health crisis, or having a child whose needs force the changes?)
no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 20:31 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-02 19:50 (UTC)If you get a running start and pretend like you're kicking a game-winning goal ... just before you slam them in the junk, they only do it once.