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mapsedgeYeah, me too. Pretty much every day for a couple of weeks now.
I haven't written about it here because I just haven't had the energy. Been trying to keep things upbeat.
Katie is becoming increasingly hard to manage. She's impossible to reach emotionally - she possesses no empathy and no impulse control.
This isn't to say she's in a corner, rocking back and forth, insensate. She is to all outward appearance a normal eight year old girl, but the emotional connections are gone. She goes through the motions - she's learned that at least. Hugs before bed, a kiss g'night, but it's as if she's reading from a script.
The lights have shut off again, my little girl is mostly lost to me. There are glimmers from time to time, and I cherish them.
A couple of weeks ago, we got a diagnosis of bi-polar for Katie, and were told that we need to watch for self-destructive behavior (we're already seeing small stuff, like worrying her toenails bloody). One doctor went so far as to say that, because we live in Jackson county and have no mental health insurance, our only option if it gets really bad would be to call the police and turn her over DFS - make our daughter a ward of the state.
In this doctor's defense, she's an abrupt, tactless woman who's accustomed to dealing with crack-addicted single mothers with no father present, but wtf?! You don't say stuff like that to Michelle. Needless to say, we spent that day crisis-mode, coping with the damage wrought by the doctor. You would think a psychiatrist would know better.
A second opinion a couple of days later brought more options and a calmer day. Yes, we need to watch, yes there are danger signs, but, yes, there are other options besides DFS.
The last couple of days have been better. A new medication seems to be helping, lengthening the fuse, so to speak; though K still has a very short fuse, we haven't seen any serious explosions.
Aspergers, bi-polar. Soon, puberty. God help us.
I feel for Jami. At four years old with Katie as his primary playmate, he takes the brunt of her issues. He's resilient and keeps bouncing back, the little trooper. I'm trying to give him some extra attention whenever I can.
So, there's that.
Work is still iffy. The entire industry is in crisis mode: our primary market just isn't buying right now, no matter how good the product and how low the price.
I'm still looking day to day for independent work to supplement a job in which my faith has been seriously shaken.
I haven't written about it here because I just haven't had the energy. Been trying to keep things upbeat.
Katie is becoming increasingly hard to manage. She's impossible to reach emotionally - she possesses no empathy and no impulse control.
This isn't to say she's in a corner, rocking back and forth, insensate. She is to all outward appearance a normal eight year old girl, but the emotional connections are gone. She goes through the motions - she's learned that at least. Hugs before bed, a kiss g'night, but it's as if she's reading from a script.
The lights have shut off again, my little girl is mostly lost to me. There are glimmers from time to time, and I cherish them.
A couple of weeks ago, we got a diagnosis of bi-polar for Katie, and were told that we need to watch for self-destructive behavior (we're already seeing small stuff, like worrying her toenails bloody). One doctor went so far as to say that, because we live in Jackson county and have no mental health insurance, our only option if it gets really bad would be to call the police and turn her over DFS - make our daughter a ward of the state.
In this doctor's defense, she's an abrupt, tactless woman who's accustomed to dealing with crack-addicted single mothers with no father present, but wtf?! You don't say stuff like that to Michelle. Needless to say, we spent that day crisis-mode, coping with the damage wrought by the doctor. You would think a psychiatrist would know better.
A second opinion a couple of days later brought more options and a calmer day. Yes, we need to watch, yes there are danger signs, but, yes, there are other options besides DFS.
The last couple of days have been better. A new medication seems to be helping, lengthening the fuse, so to speak; though K still has a very short fuse, we haven't seen any serious explosions.
Aspergers, bi-polar. Soon, puberty. God help us.
I feel for Jami. At four years old with Katie as his primary playmate, he takes the brunt of her issues. He's resilient and keeps bouncing back, the little trooper. I'm trying to give him some extra attention whenever I can.
So, there's that.
Work is still iffy. The entire industry is in crisis mode: our primary market just isn't buying right now, no matter how good the product and how low the price.
I'm still looking day to day for independent work to supplement a job in which my faith has been seriously shaken.
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Oh honey...
Date: 2009-06-30 14:24 (UTC)