mapsedge: Me at Stone Bridge Coffee House (Default)
[personal profile] mapsedge
So very strange, how a person's life and outlook can change in just a matter of minutes. When my sister called tonight from Colorado at 10:00pm (our time), I knew something was in the wind, a change coming for me and, by extension, my family.

My sister's basic message was brief: Our mother is dying, and will probably be gone within the next two weeks.

See how that works? It's a ripple effect, that change, and you, dear friend, probably felt it. I apologize if it's harsh, and I apologize for the literary tone of this post. I'm not sure yet how I'm supposed to grieve, so I don't know any other tone to take.

This story will be much longer before it is finally told. For now, I'm going to go to bed, plan a trip to Nebraska to see her one more time before she dies. God help me, I didn't expect to feel this way. It been a long love/hate relationship - mostly hate - and I expected to be happy, at least relieved, at this final resolution. It just isn't so. As I expressed to [livejournal.com profile] mljm earlier, it's like a leg has suddenly been removed from my chair, and now my world is kinda wobbly. I'm not ready to be an orphan.

I'll stay in touch, friends. I just thought you ought to know.

Date: 2006-01-10 07:09 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bonnyann.livejournal.com
What can I say? I lost my mother in '98 and it still seems like yesterday. I can only wish peace and lack of pain for you all.

Where in NE? If I can help in any way, I'm in a town not far from Omaha. If you wish, you can email me for any requests of assistance and contact information.

Date: 2006-01-10 14:18 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starwyse.livejournal.com
I too will be here when and if you need.

Date: 2006-01-10 15:14 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebruce.livejournal.com
Wishes of strength to you and yours as you pass through this time.

Remember to bless those who go before us making mistakes that we learn from, for they save us and our children unfathomable amounts of agony, if only we are able to learn from them.

Date: 2006-01-10 15:30 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sablessam.livejournal.com
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Call us if you need anything!

Date: 2006-01-10 15:39 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] breaca.livejournal.com
I *hate* those phone calls. Sending you and your family blessings in this topsy-turvy time.

Date: 2006-01-10 15:46 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rougewench.livejournal.com
I had that sort of relationship with my father. I felt just as you do now, because losing a parent is still losing one of the two things that have been there since you've been conscious. It is a loss, even if the loss, in the end is a positive change.

After the fact, though, it was as if a great weight was lifted from me though, even with the grief of loss.


D.

Date: 2006-01-10 16:52 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mljm.livejournal.com
Could you email me at mjmorris @ seamlyne . com

I'm working on putting our trip together and would like to chat with you. Thanks.

Date: 2006-01-10 17:43 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rowangolightly.livejournal.com
Oh, my very dear! As you know, I lost my mother a couple of years ago so I can so relate. A bit of advice: try to make peace as best you can. It will help you down the line as you begin to re-evaluate memories and process things. Yes, it is very much like having a leg kicked out from under you.

My sister had a very troubled relationship with our mother; but her last coherent moment was spent with Kori and they managed to put all to rights in that moment. It was a wonderful thing and I don't begrudge her that in the least.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this but your loving family and your loving friends are here for you and will help with the hurting and the healing.

I'm here if you need anything at all; we both are!

Love you!

Date: 2006-01-13 20:57 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aerie13.livejournal.com
Let me know if you need anything. Candles will be lit, prayers made.

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