The Large Hadron Collider

[mapsedge]

There seems to be quite a lot of anxiety about the LHC, ranging from "they turn it on and all the lights wink out in France and Switzerland from a popped circuit breaker" to "they turn it on and create a black hole and the entire planet winks out".  Without the need for a circuit breaker of any kind, popped or otherwise.  I mean, no lights would be okay.  It'll be daytime there so they won't be hunting for the breaker in the dark with a flashlight.  No planet?  I have issues with that, mostly related to the fact that I haven't had the opportunity to watch all of "Heroes" Season 1 on DVD yet.  I mean, Hayden Panettiere has to have a nude scene eventually, right?  (Don't spoil it for me.  Let me keep the dream alive.)

In case you didn't know, it's been tested once already - the collider, I mean, not the nude scene: a proton beam went around the 27 kilometer circle, though how they know that is beyond me.  Maybe it toasted a sandwich at the other end.  I'm sure a proton beam would make short work of a grilled cheese.  But they haven't actually collided any particles at close to the speed of light with it.  That happens - supposedly - tonight, at 1:30AM CDT. 

I hope I'm hungry for a sandwich right then, but I'll probably be asleep and too groggy to eat.  Besides, the French haven't yet mastered the sandwich.  Only the fries.  And, can you imagine hitting a sandwich at close to 299,792,458 meters / second?  Just passing a Whopper through the drive-through window too fast fucks it up.

That being said, there are really only two things to worry about: it will destroy the world or it won't.  If you're reading this and it's Thursday in the US, it didn't.  You can always check here for the latest "Is the world destroyed, yet" update.

Comments

[butterflybill.livejournal.com]

It's 299,792,458 meters per second. It's 186 thousand something miles per second.

[billthetailor.livejournal.com]

Noted and corrected, thanks!

ok...

[themadblonde]

that's the funniest thing I've seen in ages. Thank you for that laugh!

Did you look at the code?

[iarraidh.livejournal.com]

!-- if the lhc actually destroys the earth & this page isn't yet updated
please email mike@frantic.org to receive a full refund --

Re: Did you look at the code?

[billthetailor.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw that. I love that he has a null check on his worldHadEnded object. Funny as hell all the way around.

I emailed him to see if he'd tell me his stats on the page. I'm willing to bet the page got hit pretty hard yesterday.

Re: Did you look at the code?

[billthetailor.livejournal.com]

That is, assuming the email address was valid.