I had to come back to this one. We make light of the fact that Murph died. That's how we deal with it.
I don't know how much of it you realize. I was in the middle of it, as Research was my customer at the time. I saw the pagan community take over the waiting room of the ICU - they brought in sleeping bags and crockpots and made sure there was someone available 24/7 whenever Sean needed someone.
After the first few occurances where he 'coded' and the reiki and energy workers sprang into action, stabilizing his signs, the nurses not only came to them for first response before calling the doctors, some of the nurses asked where they could learn to DO this. It was I-kid-you-not like watching the sick bay on Star Trek. His vitals would plummet and the metaphysical triage team would swing into action. In moments (he was unconscious through a lot of this, so mind-over-matter does not apply) his signs would stabilize and the code would be cancelled.
The community pulled together like nothing I have ever seen, and worked tangible, palpable magic to heal this man. I am a humble witness to the efforts of so many healers.
But here's the rub... WHY did they do it? Do we not believe in the afterlife? in the Summmerlands? in reincarnation? Why did so much effort go into keeping Sean on this side of the veil?
We like to tell ourselves it was a 'give-back'. We like to think we were just reciprocating to someone who had saved our bacon too many times to count. We tell ourselves it was love for Sean.
In the most fundamental way, the last reason is the truth. We love him too much to let him go. Whereas it would be a natural process to let someone that sick and in that much distress 'go' - let them 'pass' - in fact help them pass... We were not done with Sean. It was almost a selfish act. An act to pull back someone we feel is critical to our lives.
Maybe we cheated him. Maybe it would have been best to let him go. Maybe we should not have interferred with such a clear and unmistakeable call to Come Home.
Yet only after these events did he find some happiness he had not yet experienced in life. He has seen many more years of Molly, and has become the Father he always needed to be. Some parts of his life have become richer on this borrowed time.
Did we interfere? Sometimes I think so. Were our motives pure? Not all the time. Did we interfere with Seans destiny? his path?
Fuck yes.
Now all of us who were involved own a little of the responsibility to make sure this reprieve was worth the effort.
I wouldn't walk into hell for but a few people - he has done so for a lot of us.
Those of us involved in 'the resurrection' are honor bound to do what we can to ensure it was worth it - for Sean
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-06-16 01:12 (UTC)I had to come back to this one.
We make light of the fact that Murph died. That's how we deal with it.
I don't know how much of it you realize.
I was in the middle of it, as Research was my customer at the time. I saw the pagan community take over the waiting room of the ICU - they brought in sleeping bags and crockpots and made sure there was someone available 24/7 whenever Sean needed someone.
After the first few occurances where he 'coded' and the reiki and energy workers sprang into action, stabilizing his signs, the nurses not only came to them for first response before calling the doctors, some of the nurses asked where they could learn to DO this.
It was I-kid-you-not like watching the sick bay on Star Trek. His vitals would plummet and the metaphysical triage team would swing into action.
In moments (he was unconscious through a lot of this, so mind-over-matter does not apply) his signs would stabilize and the code would be cancelled.
The community pulled together like nothing I have ever seen, and worked tangible, palpable magic to heal this man.
I am a humble witness to the efforts of so many healers.
But here's the rub...
WHY did they do it?
Do we not believe in the afterlife? in the Summmerlands? in reincarnation?
Why did so much effort go into keeping Sean on this side of the veil?
We like to tell ourselves it was a 'give-back'.
We like to think we were just reciprocating to someone who had saved our bacon too many times to count.
We tell ourselves it was love for Sean.
In the most fundamental way, the last reason is the truth.
We love him too much to let him go.
Whereas it would be a natural process to let someone that sick and in that much distress 'go' - let them 'pass' - in fact help them pass...
We were not done with Sean.
It was almost a selfish act. An act to pull back someone we feel is critical to our lives.
Maybe we cheated him. Maybe it would have been best to let him go. Maybe we should not have interferred with such a clear and unmistakeable call to Come Home.
Yet only after these events did he find some happiness he had not yet experienced in life.
He has seen many more years of Molly, and has become the Father he always needed to be.
Some parts of his life have become richer on this borrowed time.
Did we interfere? Sometimes I think so.
Were our motives pure? Not all the time.
Did we interfere with Seans destiny? his path?
Fuck yes.
Now all of us who were involved own a little of the responsibility to make sure this reprieve was worth the effort.
I wouldn't walk into hell for but a few people - he has done so for a lot of us.
Those of us involved in 'the resurrection' are honor bound to do what we can to ensure it was worth it - for Sean