mapsedge: Me at Stone Bridge Coffee House (Default)
[personal profile] mapsedge

...to be a doctor in Rome this week.  Let's act out the scene, shall we?  You're the doctor on call in the ER at Clement VII Memorial Hospital, when the triage nurse comes in, holding a clipboard.

Nurse.  Doctor?  We've just admitted an 84 year old man.  He's in mid-stage Parkinson's, showing flu symptoms, with repiratory distress.

You.  84? 

Nurse.  Yes.  He was in last week with similar symptoms.  We've performed a tracheotomy already.

You.  84, with flu not responding to symptomatic treatment, Parkinson's, difficulty breathing so bad that we had to cut.  Start a round of antibiotics and make him comfortable, but you'll want to call his family and let them know that he doesn't have long ---

Nurse.  It's the Pope.

You.  --- to stay here in the hospital so they'll want to arrange to come get him as soon as he's back up on his feet and jesus christ woman why didn't you tell me that to begin with for fuck's sake call every doctor we've got including that new pediatric guy he ought to have some ideas and don't forget the board of directors they're going to want a press conference...

Like, no pressure or anything.

 

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