Olympics News

During the opening ceremonies, cameras cut to American President George Bush sprawled spread-legged in his seat and checking his watch.  Way to go Prez!  Thanks for making our country look like an involved member of the international community.  I kind of wish we'd elected Laura Bush instead.

The new gymnastics scoring system allows judges to apply deductions for just about anything they want without actually having to give a reason.  This new improved system let's them screw pretty much whoever they want with impunity.  Like Shawn Johnson, after a perfect beam routine.

The French team spent the 400 Metre Freestyle Relay almost smashing the American team.  YEA France!  Interviewed after losing the race, Alain Bernard said...oh, wait...no, sorry, he wasn't interviewed.  He LOST. 

Shawn Johnson is so cute it almost hurts.  I guess that's how they make them in West Des Moines.  By the way, don't ever go to West Des Moines and talk about the place and leave off "West."  They, as a community, are decidedly not Des Moines, and mistaking them as such will earn you a dead, rude silence.  And Shawn Johnson will cutely kick your ass.

Alright, Bernard was interviewed, but the best he could come up with was a string of inarticulate vowels and the occasional glottal stop.  8/100 of a second.  Dude, that has to hurt.  Wonder if France will retaliate by accidentally dropping a bomb on the American Embassy...*

Laure Manaudou has nude pictures on the internet.  What?  Nudity on the internet?  Some guy took pictures of his girlfriend and posted them after they broke up?  Wow...never heard of that before.  For the record, pretty as she is she photographs better clothed.

And in this update: Shawn Johnson is still cute.

* For those of you who weren't born yet, in April of 1986, the French refused American bombers access to French airspace for a run on Libya.  In an unrelated incident, American bombers "accidentally" destroyed the French Embassy in Libya.  Reports indicate the explosion took 8/100 of a second.

Olympics News

During the opening ceremonies, cameras cut to American President George Bush sprawled spread-legged in his seat and checking his watch.  Way to go Prez!  Thanks for making our country look like an involved member of the international community.  I kind of wish we'd elected Laura Bush instead.

The new gymnastics scoring system allows judges to apply deductions for just about anything they want without actually having to give a reason.  This new improved system let's them screw pretty much whoever they want with impunity.  Like Shawn Johnson, after a perfect beam routine.

The French team spent the 400 Metre Freestyle Relay almost smashing the American team.  YEA France!  Interviewed after losing the race, Alain Bernard said...oh, wait...no, sorry, he wasn't interviewed.  He LOST. 

Shawn Johnson is so cute it almost hurts.  I guess that's how they make them in West Des Moines.  By the way, don't ever go to West Des Moines and talk about the place and leave off "West."  They, as a community, are decidedly not Des Moines, and mistaking them as such will earn you a dead, rude silence.  And Shawn Johnson will cutely kick your ass.

Alright, Bernard was interviewed, but the best he could come up with was a string of inarticulate vowels and the occasional glottal stop.  8/100 of a second.  Dude, that has to hurt.  Wonder if France will retaliate by accidentally dropping a bomb on the American Embassy...*

Laure Manaudou has nude pictures on the internet.  What?  Nudity on the internet?  Some guy took pictures of his girlfriend and posted them after they broke up?  Wow...never heard of that before.  For the record, pretty as she is she photographs better clothed.

And in this update: Shawn Johnson is still cute.

* For those of you who weren't born yet, in April of 1986, the French refused American bombers access to French airspace for a run on Libya.  In an unrelated incident, American bombers "accidentally" destroyed the French Embassy in Libya.  Reports indicate the explosion took 8/100 of a second.