Ok, I'm a fan of Alton Brown...

With some time to kill this morning, I spent it reading Alton's blog, and found this delicious entry, from back in December:

I have decided to move from the planet. I’m sorry but I simply cannot remain on a world where Paris Hilton is allowed to publish “memoirs”. The real clincher is that people will buy it, and read it…and think it wonderful and insightful and that “That poor girl just can’t find…whatever.”

I can only hope that the beams will cross and she’ll end up on Dr. Phil so that my vision of hell can become complete. Actually, for that to happen John Tesh would have to be the musical guest.

I'm there for you, man. Really. John Tesh is Satan, Paris his succubus. (Chip Davis, I'm quite certain, is a minion. Yanni is just annoying.)