Listening to the lawyer's secretary

[mapsedge]

My company shares office space with a lawyer's office, and my particular slice of heaven is adjacent to the legal secretary's desk.  As a result, I get to listen to her side of every conversation.

I couldn't do her job.  No way.  As I listen to her explaining the legal system and how it pertains to the caller's situation right at that moment, I get a picture of how mind-bogglingly stupid people can be.  I couldn't take those calls without eventually losing my patience, as in:

"I'm sorry, but we don't set the fines you have to pay, or the sentence you'll have to serve....uh-huh...yes, the judge makes that determination...right...no we don't have the power to do that...no, we-- sir, screaming at me isn't going to reduce the judgement...sir..?  Sir..?"

"Hang on.  Are you listening?  Are you listening carefully?  Ready to take notes?  Take note of this: you aren't the victim, here.  If you hadn't been such a FUCKING MORON as to drive around town with an open beer bottle in your hand, a vial of crack in the glovebox, a loaded 9mm pistol with a round in the chamber under the seat, and speeding in a school zone nearly running down a small child, you wouldn't be in this situation, and it isn't our job to fix what passes for your life, capiche?  You BELONG in jail.  Cut your losses and be thankful for thirty days and a fine, asshat."

Well, I could do her job, but not more than once.

Comments

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

Haha!! Reminds me of the good ol' days of working tech support for H&R Block, when people would call to complain that they had done their own taxes incorrectly. As if it was OUR fault that they added extra zeroes to their income by omitting the decimal point, and why couldn't we catch that? Umm, sorry, did we have your W2 in hand as you sat in your PJs and did your return online? No. How could we possibly know that you didn't actually make $2,000,000 last year instead of the $20,000.00 that's reported on your W2? Screech all you want, now you have to file a 1040X. It's fixable, sir, just go amend your return. No, I can't do it for you. *sigh* Now go away.

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling. Right now I'm doing billing for Time Warner in Los Angeles. Sometimes, it's all I can do to keep from saying to some of these twits, "Sir, you know if you had just paid off your bill monthly, you wouldn't have to pay us seven hundred-plus dollars now to get reconnected."

I hate this job.

[neemauri.livejournal.com]

exactly why i left the stupid-filled world of real estate. very few have any sense of personal responsibility. it gets old really fast, really fast. and i only wasted 18 years of my life at it. sigh.......must forgive myself...