On Time Travel
Anybody got a spare Delorean and a few ounces of radioactive waste?
From NPR:
On Patton Oswalt's gut-busting comedy record Werewolves And Lollipops, there's a marvelous bit about how he realized at one point that if he had a time machine, he wouldn't use it to meet Abe Lincoln or stop wars or anything like that.
No, he would go back and kill George Lucas before he had a chance to make the Star Wars prequels.

On Patton Oswalt's gut-busting comedy record Werewolves And Lollipops, there's a marvelous bit about how he realized at one point that if he had a time machine, he wouldn't use it to meet Abe Lincoln or stop wars or anything like that.
No, he would go back and kill George Lucas before he had a chance to make the Star Wars prequels.
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I could...