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Dear <%= customer_name%>,
Dear website customer,
There are a few things we need to clarify before we go any further, especially if you want me to continue to do work for you.
One: When you called me, you forfeited the right to whine. When your instructions are vague and you refuse to clarify them, you forfeit the right to be angry when what I produce doesn't match what's in your head. When you say, "I just want it to work", you forfeit the right to complain that I chose the wrong color blue.
Two: you can tell me what you want, or you can tell me what to do. Not both.
Three: Good. Fast. Cheap.
Pick two.
I can do good work fast, but it won't be cheap.
...or I can do good work cheap, but it won't be fast.
...or I'll can do cheap work fast, but it won't be good. You pick.
Lastly, when I give you a deliverable date that's a few days out because I have other clients that I do work for and you say, "Your other clients aren't my problem", remember that when the bills come due and you have to choose between groceries and paying me, your other bills aren't my problem either.
Yours,
Bill
p.s. And have the cajones to not blame all this shit on your wife.
There are a few things we need to clarify before we go any further, especially if you want me to continue to do work for you.
One: When you called me, you forfeited the right to whine. When your instructions are vague and you refuse to clarify them, you forfeit the right to be angry when what I produce doesn't match what's in your head. When you say, "I just want it to work", you forfeit the right to complain that I chose the wrong color blue.
Two: you can tell me what you want, or you can tell me what to do. Not both.
Three: Good. Fast. Cheap.
Pick two.
I can do good work fast, but it won't be cheap.
...or I can do good work cheap, but it won't be fast.
...or I'll can do cheap work fast, but it won't be good. You pick.
Lastly, when I give you a deliverable date that's a few days out because I have other clients that I do work for and you say, "Your other clients aren't my problem", remember that when the bills come due and you have to choose between groceries and paying me, your other bills aren't my problem either.
Yours,
Bill
p.s. And have the cajones to not blame all this shit on your wife.